FAQ
What is Surrogate Partner Therapy?
Surrogate Partner Therapy is a therapeutic approach where I work with you and your therapist as part of a team. Together, we combine talk therapy with real-time, experiential learning so you can move beyond insight into embodied connection, intimacy, and confidence. My role is to provide a safe space to explore touch, communication, and relational dynamics while your therapist supports emotional processing and integration.
How Does the Triadic Model Function?
The triadic model is you, your therapist, and me working together. You and I meet for experiential sessions, and you meet with your therapist to reflect, process, and integrate. I also stay in communication with your therapist so that everything is aligned, safe, and intentional. This structure ensures you’re fully supported throughout the process.
How long do we work together?
Usually clients work with me for six months to two years depending on their goals and history. Some folks just need confidence in things they already know. Others are starting from scratch. These are not planned step-by-step lessons, but an evolving discovery and education based on your needs.
Do we need to feel sexual attraction for this to work?
Not at all. I’m not here to stir desire, but to help you feel safe, present, and open in your body. Whether attraction arises or not, what matters is your ability to stay with yourself and relate honestly in the moment.
Safety leads. Trust deepens. From there, everything else unfolds.
Is sex the goal?
The goal is you. Understanding, defining, and embracing your needs and desires in relationship.
Our work may include sensual or sexual elements, but only if and when it serves your healing. We move through stages: emotional connection, consent, safe touch, embodiment, and intimacy. If sexual expression arises, it is always intentional and choice-based—not expected or required.
Can I contact you between sessions?
Outside of our sessions, we keep contact intentionally limited. This isn’t to create distance, but to honor the container we’re building together. Most communication is logistical, confirming times, sharing integration assignments, or scheduling. Our deeper work happens face-to-face, where presence and embodiment guide us.
That said, there may be occasional gentle check-ins if they serve your process. But I invite you to bring your thoughts, longings, and questions into the session space where they can be felt, seen, and met.
How will I know when we’re done?
You’ll know it, I’ll know it, and your therapist will know it. You’ll notice you're no longer holding back. You’ll be in your body with more ease, speaking your truth without shrinking. You’ll realize that what used to feel terrifying now feels... possible.
When that time comes, we won’t rush the ending. We’ll move through a closure process with intention honoring all you’ve grown through. There’s space to grieve, celebrate, integrate, and appreciate the path you’ve walked. You’ll leave with a plan and the skills for a successful intimacy-relational future.
Is this only for single people?
The initial structure of Surrogate Partner therapy was based solely on non-partnered clients. Now, as the work has evolved, clients in partnership/married are finding benefits from this work. This work isn’t about preparing you for someone else, it’s about helping you return to yourself within all relationships.
Does insurance cover this?
Insurance may cover the cost of your therapist but, sadly, will not cover session costs with me. I know this is a large investment. Many of my clients say this is the most transformative work they’ve ever done. And they’ve found the value far exceeds the cost.